Comments on: Expat Gone Mad http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/ An American exploring a new life, food and drink in Ireland! Sat, 04 Feb 2012 15:58:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sarah Carroll http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1243 Sarah Carroll Tue, 03 Aug 2010 16:01:18 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1243 Hi Clare, very late comment on this post cos I just discovered your blog, but just on the flowery fashion at the moment... don't despair, cos it's actually not always quite as bad as this, there's just a frightening amount of flouncy stuff in the shops this season. I'm also driven DEMENTED by all the bows and lace and florals in the shops at the moment (on more than one occasion I've turned on my heel and walked out of a shop muttering "How the f*** does anyone wear all these f***ing florals??") I know plenty of other (Irish) girls who are similarly frustrated with this year's fashions so you're definitely not alone with this one. Hi Clare, very late comment on this post cos I just discovered your blog, but just on the flowery fashion at the moment… don’t despair, cos it’s actually not always quite as bad as this, there’s just a frightening amount of flouncy stuff in the shops this season. I’m also driven DEMENTED by all the bows and lace and florals in the shops at the moment (on more than one occasion I’ve turned on my heel and walked out of a shop muttering “How the f*** does anyone wear all these f***ing florals??”) I know plenty of other (Irish) girls who are similarly frustrated with this year’s fashions so you’re definitely not alone with this one.

]]> By: Sarah http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1206 Sarah Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:16:43 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1206 Yes there definitely are good ones out there! Its a bit of a nightmare trying to find one though, the best advice is to keep going out, having a laugh & you'll meet someone great when you least expect it.I think it happens more when one isn't looking, because then they're more attractive to guys, for some crazy reason. I think loads of guys are afraid of being 'trapped' or pinned down, classic commitment issues, but its perpetuated by the way their male peer group talk about girls,they have this idea that women are out on a mission to pin them into a relationship-when I started going out with my BF recently, his mates were like 'oh yeah shes definitely interested in a relationship, watch out'-whereas in reality I was only interested in a relationship if I really liked the guy & it worked & having a relationship was fun-For guys, its 'game over' or something when that happens-I dunno if this is making any sense!I find that attitude offensive especially since from a longer term perspective, men actually do better out of marriage than women-from a physical and mental health perspective. Hypocrites! In relation to meeting Irish guys, they're very shy & the ones who aren't shy-they could be a bit of a player, which is shit-so watch out for those-although they could also just be OK with rejection, as in, able to take it & able to approach girls, but not necessarily assholes. The fact that we don't have a dating system makes it hard to meet people-personally I find the fact that guys just go up and ask you out in the States kind of terrifying-what do you say when you dont want to!!! In my experience in Ireland, if a guy approaches you in a sober way to ask you for a drink or something, then he's practically in love with you.Fear of rejection is a big problem. Also some guys have an ancient bullshit idea that if a girl asks them out, then shes easy-though some guys love to be asked out. I find its best to be friendly and have the craic with lads,and if they like you, they'll have the confidence to put themselves out there. Also, as I'm sure you know, guys will have the craic & the slag (and a bit of a flirt) even if they have wives or girlfriends, which can be confusing if you're single. When my friend from the UK moved here she couldn't believe that guys who had girlfriends or who weren't interested in her would talk to her-it made me afraid of what London is like! In relation to guys that cheat-I read your post on some of those scumbags you had met-I have a theory that there's a few different types of guys that cheat-one type have serious mental health issues, with chronically low self esteem but cover it up with an external display of bravado, but they have to score to get top-ups for their self esteem-even if they are in love with their GF-these guys cheat again & again & will probably never be able to be faithful. Other guys are bored or unhappy in the relationships and cheat when opportunities arrive-as a distraction-they don't necessarily go outlooking for it.They are unable to address the problems in their relationship. A third type cheat because they are trying to spoil a relationship because they're too cowardly to just break it up-they have to make it really crappy first. There may be more types, I just haven't met them yet (thankfully!). I'd be very interested on a post about gender roles, I'm very interested in how people from other countries view how we are here. Sorry for the long rant! Yes there definitely are good ones out there! Its a bit of a nightmare trying to find one though, the best advice is to keep going out, having a laugh & you’ll meet someone great when you least expect it.I think it happens more when one isn’t looking, because then they’re more attractive to guys, for some crazy reason. I think loads of guys are afraid of being ‘trapped’ or pinned down, classic commitment issues, but its perpetuated by the way their male peer group talk about girls,they have this idea that women are out on a mission to pin them into a relationship-when I started going out with my BF recently, his mates were like ‘oh yeah shes definitely interested in a relationship, watch out’-whereas in reality I was only interested in a relationship if I really liked the guy & it worked & having a relationship was fun-For guys, its ‘game over’ or something when that happens-I dunno if this is making any sense!I find that attitude offensive especially since from a longer term perspective, men actually do better out of marriage than women-from a physical and mental health perspective. Hypocrites! In relation to meeting Irish guys, they’re very shy & the ones who aren’t shy-they could be a bit of a player, which is shit-so watch out for those-although they could also just be OK with rejection, as in, able to take it & able to approach girls, but not necessarily assholes. The fact that we don’t have a dating system makes it hard to meet people-personally I find the fact that guys just go up and ask you out in the States kind of terrifying-what do you say when you dont want to!!! In my experience in Ireland, if a guy approaches you in a sober way to ask you for a drink or something, then he’s practically in love with you.Fear of rejection is a big problem. Also some guys have an ancient bullshit idea that if a girl asks them out, then shes easy-though some guys love to be asked out. I find its best to be friendly and have the craic with lads,and if they like you, they’ll have the confidence to put themselves out there. Also, as I’m sure you know, guys will have the craic & the slag (and a bit of a flirt) even if they have wives or girlfriends, which can be confusing if you’re single. When my friend from the UK moved here she couldn’t believe that guys who had girlfriends or who weren’t interested in her would talk to her-it made me afraid of what London is like!
In relation to guys that cheat-I read your post on some of those scumbags you had met-I have a theory that there’s a few different types of guys that cheat-one type have serious mental health issues, with chronically low self esteem but cover it up with an external display of bravado, but they have to score to get top-ups for their self esteem-even if they are in love with their GF-these guys cheat again & again & will probably never be able to be faithful. Other guys are bored or unhappy in the relationships and cheat when opportunities arrive-as a distraction-they don’t necessarily go outlooking for it.They are unable to address the problems in their relationship. A third type cheat because they are trying to spoil a relationship because they’re too cowardly to just break it up-they have to make it really crappy first. There may be more types, I just haven’t met them yet (thankfully!).
I’d be very interested on a post about gender roles, I’m very interested in how people from other countries view how we are here. Sorry for the long rant!

]]> By: Sarah http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1205 Sarah Sat, 31 Jul 2010 15:49:47 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1205 The west of Ireland is fabulous. I highly recommend Galway, for great pubs & nightlife, Sligo, to see beautiful Ben Bulben, beautiful rugged scenery & nice beaches,good surfing there too. Mayo, particularly Westport & Louisburgh-Westport is fantastic, beautiful views of Croagh Patrick, a great town with loads of fantastic restaurants, lots of live trad music & close to amazing beaches. Enjoy your trip! The west of Ireland is fabulous. I highly recommend Galway, for great pubs & nightlife, Sligo, to see beautiful Ben Bulben, beautiful rugged scenery & nice beaches,good surfing there too. Mayo, particularly Westport & Louisburgh-Westport is fantastic, beautiful views of Croagh Patrick, a great town with loads of fantastic restaurants, lots of live trad music & close to amazing beaches. Enjoy your trip!

]]> By: Melinda http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1158 Melinda Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:27:21 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1158 I'll be in Galway in October which is a bit of a drive from there. :) If you've been to the west counties and can recommend any great places, then I'd love to hear about them. I’ll be in Galway in October which is a bit of a drive from there. :) If you’ve been to the west counties and can recommend any great places, then I’d love to hear about them.

]]> By: Clare http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1146 Clare Tue, 27 Jul 2010 12:43:44 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1146 TheGlutton: All the things you listed drive me crazy too, lol. But overall the experience here has been wonderful, and honestly there are probably as many irritating things about LA...I just seem to notice more of it here as it's still new to me. Thanks for the well wishes - it gets better every day! TheGlutton: All the things you listed drive me crazy too, lol. But overall the experience here has been wonderful, and honestly there are probably as many irritating things about LA…I just seem to notice more of it here as it’s still new to me. Thanks for the well wishes – it gets better every day!

]]> By: TheGlutton http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1145 TheGlutton Tue, 27 Jul 2010 12:02:55 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1145 I love the honesty in your writing Clare. I'm quite conscious that my accent belies my Irishness and I find myself keeping any criticism for those who know me for fear of offending someone. When I first moved west I found myself quite angry with how locals would park in the middle of the street or just point the bonnet at the kerb leaving you sitting behind them until they finished in the post office. After a while I had to make the conscious decision to just accept it as they weren't going to change and I don't want to spend a lifetime gritting my teeth behind the wheel. I still find it most frustrating that I can't cook something on a whim or that we sometimes have two shopping lists should one item be missing but I remind myself of all the reasons we moved here and they far outweight any frustrations. I have been back several times over the years to the place that I grew up and it has changed so much that I know I am lucky to be where I am - I just need to remind myself of it every now and then :) I hope the storm passes soon x I love the honesty in your writing Clare. I’m quite conscious that my accent belies my Irishness and I find myself keeping any criticism for those who know me for fear of offending someone. When I first moved west I found myself quite angry with how locals would park in the middle of the street or just point the bonnet at the kerb leaving you sitting behind them until they finished in the post office. After a while I had to make the conscious decision to just accept it as they weren’t going to change and I don’t want to spend a lifetime gritting my teeth behind the wheel. I still find it most frustrating that I can’t cook something on a whim or that we sometimes have two shopping lists should one item be missing but I remind myself of all the reasons we moved here and they far outweight any frustrations. I have been back several times over the years to the place that I grew up and it has changed so much that I know I am lucky to be where I am – I just need to remind myself of it every now and then :) I hope the storm passes soon x

]]> By: Clare http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1122 Clare Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:37:20 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1122 Sarah: Your comments are hilarious! Thanks for all the tips on where to shop - will have to check them out. Yes, dating here is a bit desperate but I'm sure there are good ones out there, right? :) As for the sexism, I'm referring to the somewhat old-fashioned roles that women/men play here (at least where I live). I'll have to elaborate on another post sometime in the future. Sarah: Your comments are hilarious! Thanks for all the tips on where to shop – will have to check them out. Yes, dating here is a bit desperate but I’m sure there are good ones out there, right? :) As for the sexism, I’m referring to the somewhat old-fashioned roles that women/men play here (at least where I live). I’ll have to elaborate on another post sometime in the future.

]]> By: Clare http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1093 Clare Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:56:53 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1093 Gordon: Thanks for all the tips! :) I do enjoy the markets and they offer a lot of options; it just seems the odd Wednesday when I need something I can never find it, lol. Melinda: Thank you! That was my first visit to Ireland and it was then that I decided to make the big move here. If you ever get out to Dublin I highly recommend the Art Tea, it's fabulous! Gordon: Thanks for all the tips! :) I do enjoy the markets and they offer a lot of options; it just seems the odd Wednesday when I need something I can never find it, lol.

Melinda: Thank you! That was my first visit to Ireland and it was then that I decided to make the big move here. If you ever get out to Dublin I highly recommend the Art Tea, it’s fabulous!

]]> By: Melinda http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1074 Melinda Fri, 23 Jul 2010 21:14:06 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1074 Totally off subject, but I just picked up the latest Intermezzo magazine and behold, you were listed as a contributor. I enjoyed your article about the Art Tea. Totally off subject, but I just picked up the latest Intermezzo magazine and behold, you were listed as a contributor. I enjoyed your article about the Art Tea.

]]> By: Sarah http://anamericaninireland.com/2010/07/18/expat-gone-mad/comment-page-1/#comment-1059 Sarah Thu, 22 Jul 2010 17:51:23 +0000 http://anamericaninireland.com/?p=814#comment-1059 I commiserate with you, all of those things annoy me too & Im Irish.I think our service is appalling especially considering how expensive everything is. We kind of have a 'sure it'll be alright', a 'dont give a f**k' attitude. It has lots of bad points but can also be nice when you mess up & someone goes easy on you because they're laid back, if that makes sense? for e.g. the way everyone is late all the time & its not a big deal-annoying when you're punctual but a relief when your late too! I have often had the experience of going into a major supermarket & not being able to buy coriander!!! And as for clothes? Jesus the state of the flower-y horribleness in the shops!!! I live near Galway & whenever I have seen a group of girls out recently they have been wearing the most hideous garish outfits. I swear, some of us do have taste! We do have a crap selection, London is the nearest decent shopping destination. Failing that Dublin is OK & most people who live rurally travel to their nearest city to buy clothes every so often. I recommend Mexx, French Connection, Zara & Esprit for decent quality basics. The weather, unfortunately is shite. Theres nothing to be done. As for the sexism-Id love to know more of what your experience has been. Ireland is a fairly matriarchal society but the lads arent perfect! As for dating, yes its non existent, we are rubbish at it. Irish lads are too shy & dont know how to approach women. Hope you feel better about the place soon. Love the blog! I commiserate with you, all of those things annoy me too & Im Irish.I think our service is appalling especially considering how expensive everything is. We kind of have a ‘sure it’ll be alright’, a ‘dont give a f**k’ attitude. It has lots of bad points but can also be nice when you mess up & someone goes easy on you because they’re laid back, if that makes sense? for e.g. the way everyone is late all the time & its not a big deal-annoying when you’re punctual but a relief when your late too! I have often had the experience of going into a major supermarket & not being able to buy coriander!!! And as for clothes? Jesus the state of the flower-y horribleness in the shops!!! I live near Galway & whenever I have seen a group of girls out recently they have been wearing the most hideous garish outfits. I swear, some of us do have taste! We do have a crap selection, London is the nearest decent shopping destination. Failing that Dublin is OK & most people who live rurally travel to their nearest city to buy clothes every so often. I recommend Mexx, French Connection, Zara & Esprit for decent quality basics. The weather, unfortunately is shite. Theres nothing to be done. As for the sexism-Id love to know more of what your experience has been. Ireland is a fairly matriarchal society but the lads arent perfect! As for dating, yes its non existent, we are rubbish at it. Irish lads are too shy & dont know how to approach women. Hope you feel better about the place soon. Love the blog!

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