I just wanted to write you a note to say “thanks” for the joy that is dealing with your customer service reps – a delight that I had the pleasure of experiencing for a whole two hours this morning. Of course by “delight” I actually mean an excruciating, dying-a-slow-death type pain that’s about as pleasurable as sliding down a razor blade into a pool of salty lemon juice.

I rang because I need phone service and broadband, which I assumed would be a simple enough request considering you are a phone and Internet company. But as they say, assume just makes an ass of u and me and never has this little nugget of wisdom been more true! I first spoke with a woman named Esther, who went over the offers with me. She said I could get broadband and a landline that covered my needs for €41.99 per month for the first six months and then €46.70 per month afterward. She also mentioned there would be a €29.99 connection fee for broadband, which I thought was rather excessive and that it would take at least 10 business days to connect both the phone and broadband lines and that they’d have to send someone out.

I asked her why it would take so long and she said because no one had ever activated a phone line here, which I found odd as we have an Eircom box right here in our hallway that was, in fact, activated before. She insisted it had not and I decided to try my chances at another company to see if they could do better. She gave me her “direct line” and name so I could ring her back if I decided to go with Eircom.

After ringing a few places, it turns out Eircom does offer the best price – fair play to you (I give credit where it’s due!). So I rang back Esther on the number she gave me; after all, she’d already taken all my details. But an automated voice answered, not Esther. I was hold for 10 minutes. The person who answered had no record of my previous call so I had to relay all my information AGAIN. The new guy, Trevor, had some news for me: My phone line was activated previously so it would only take 24 hours and NO visit from a technician to get it live. He also mentioned that if I signed up for broadband using Eircom’s website, I would not have to pay that €29.99 fee. Clearly Esther does not know about this deal, because otherwise she would have been obligated to share it with me, no? Perhaps she’s suffering from short-term memory loss or plain laziness; either way, it’s time to have a little chat with your employee.

Trevor also shared another gem: Though my new plan offered “unlimited” calls to local numbers, I have to hang up after 59 minutes of talking and ring the person back again if I wanted to get the call for free. I asked Trevor why, and he said – and I quote – “Eircom assumes no one would chat more than 59 minutes on a phone call, that’s why.” A phone company assuming their customers won’t talk on the phone that much? That makes about as much sense as a book on how to read! Great way to make a sneaky extra quid, if you ask me.  In any case I’m glad ol’ Trev gave me that info; now I know to clock watch whilst talking on the telephone so I won’t get charged those hidden fees.

Well despite all the hassle, I signed up and Trevor gave me my new phone and account numbers and told me to go ahead and log in online to order my broadband. Let me just say I absolutely LOVE how you make your customers jump through multiple hoops to save a few bob – us busy folk really enjoy that sort of run-around! I got online and low and behold, my telephone number was not recognized. I rang Eircom yet AGAIN, waited another 9 minutes for a human being to get on the other end and was told it would be another 24 hours before my account was activated. Apparently Trevor forgot that little piece of info but Sarah, the girl I spoke with this time, assured me it always took a day to activate.

I believe trained monkeys would do a better job than your current staff and would certainly provide more entertainment value during the long minutes of hold time. It’s too bad there are so few choices for phone/broadband here, because I guarantee that is the ONLY reason why you’re still in business. My partner had WiMax/Imagine before but they were about as useful as a screen door on a submarine, so you lucked out. At best, you fall in the middle of a mediocre bunch – what a feat! Perhaps you should aim a bit higher.

Best,

Clare – An American in Ireland

Baked Onion Rings with Spicy Barbeque Sauce

I spent much of the day infuriated over my wasted morning, but calmed myself down by spending the evening in the kitchen (I know, I’m weird like that). It’s amazing how much cooking soothes me; half-way into making this barbeque sauce, I felt the stress leave my body. There’s something about creating something simple and good that just takes away the anxiety of the day. And, unlike everything else, cooking is something I actually have control over!  These onion rings are the perfect comfort food, but they’re healthy, and great dipped in this spicy barbeque sauce.

Spicy Barbeque Sauce

1/2 tea cup water

1/2 tea cup of ketchup

6 tablespoons of dark brown sugar

1 tablespoon of maple syrup

5 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce

3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

2 tablespoon of lemon juice

2 teaspoons of dry mustard

1 1/2 teaspoons of pure chili powder

2 teaspoons of smoked paprika

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

Pinch of ground cumin

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

2 tablespoons tomato paste (puree)

Put all the ingredients into a saucepan and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Turn heat to low and let simmer for an additional 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Let cool at room temp and serve (keeps for 5 days in airtight container in the fridge).

Baked Onion Rings

2 onions, peeled and cut into thick slices (rings!)

4 tablespoons white flour

1 teaspoon paprika

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon sea salt

2 eggs, beaten

A few dashes of Tabasco

1.5 – 2 cups (just use a tea or coffee cup) of Japanese panko* breadcrumbs

Olive oil or plain oil spray

Preheat the oven to 200 C. Put the flour, paprika, garlic powder and sea salt into a large, Ziploc bag. In batches of a half-dozen or so, place the onion rings in the bag, close and shake so that the rings are lightly coated with the flour mixture.

Place the beaten eggs in a large shallow dish and add Tabasco and mix, and then toss the coated onion rings into the egg to give them a light coat. The flour coating has to go on first as otherwise the egg mixture will not stick to the onion.

Put the panko breadcrumbs into another large Ziploc bag. Again in batches, place the onion rings into the bag, close and shake until the rings are coated in the breadcrumb mixture.

Place the rings on a large baking tray and lightly spray with the oil spray. Bake in the oven for 12-15 minutes, or until golden brown on the outside. Serve with barbeque sauce!

*Panko breadcrumbs are available at most Asian food markets and are essential for this recipe as they are super crispy!

It seems like only weeks ago that I moved to Dublin, though it’s been three months already (!!). Some days I feel I’ve been here for years while on others I still feel very much a square peg in a round hole. I’m very familiar with parts of Dublin now and even drive quite confidently down the busy corridors of the city. But there are other areas of Dublin where I feel completely lost and just one wrong turn can have me feeling like I’ve crossed over into another dimension.

As for developing my Irish-ness, I realized the other day that there are certain Irish habits that have become second nature to me. I use the word “nice” to describe food – something I found so odd when I first moved here. In America, people would never say “This lasagna is so nice!” Nice is reserved to describe people or animals – the way someone acts versus the way food tastes. Another noticeable change is that my adjectives have turned into nouns. Instead of saying, “This weather is crappy,” I now say “This weather is crap!” 

Of course like all Irish people, talking about the weather has become an hourly ritual. Though one thing I have yet to get used to, and probably never will, is the vague and completely unhelpful weather reporting on the news here. Every day it’s a similar report, each as useless as the last: “A bit of rain later in the day with bright, sunny spells in some parts. Dry in areas but showers on and off throughout the afternoon.” WTF is that? If I told one of my copywriting clients that I’d “do some spells of work, maybe sometime in the afternoon and in parts here and there” they’d fire me.

Speaking of showers, I rarely use an umbrella anymore – unless it’s really coming down. Irish people are so used to rain that they often endure sprinkles or even a quick shower with no umbrella. When I first moved here I would pop mine open at the first sign of drops, but after being the lone umbrella holder on many a showery day I started to feel self conscious. These days I just put my hoodie up and get a little wet like everyone else. I’ve also adjusted to the cooler climate here and my body has built up a tolerance to Irish weather. Though you won’t find me jumping into the ocean for an icy swim I have no problems wearing a T-shirt under gray and misty skies.

While I’ve assimilated to some degree there are certain things that’ll never change – no matter how great the Irish influence. I still drink wine, even at the most dive-y old-man pubs where everyone else is drinking Guinness or beer. I still get sticker-shock at the high price tags on items that are so cheap back home (a tiny, made-in-China lamp selling for 35 Euros here goes for about $7.99 at Target in the U.S.). I still rage about the atrocious customer service at most businesses – from grocery stores and retail shops to estate agencies and Eircom. My reaction to these things will change only when these things change. In that sense I’m still very American.

Like many Irish (and Europeans in general) I go to the food shops almost daily. Back in America, I’d do one big grocery shop on a Saturday and rarely went to the store in between. But with all the little local markets and produce stands around here, it’s nice to get fresh food daily and it’s something I really enjoy. Instead of having to plan for a whole week’s worth of meals, I can see what’s fresh and decide what to make based on what looks good.

Pea and Leek Lasagna with Basil Tofu Cream Sauce

Just yesterday I was at the shop and saw a beautiful fresh basil plant on sale. I absolutely LOVE fresh basil and was inspired to make a dish that highlighted this herb. Based on a tofu lasagna that my sister makes, I decided on a pea and leek lasagna drenched in a rich basil tofu cream sauce. The tofu gives the dish protein as there is no meat in the lasagna and makes a luxe cream sauce that’s healthy and absolutely delicious. It takes a bit of work but it’s so worth it! Note the prep on the tofu starts the night before.

2 packs (12.3 oz each) of silken tofu – do not use firm tofu!

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 large leek, rinsed and sliced thinly (do not use the hard green part)

900 grams of frozen peas

2 oz of grated parmesan cheese

3 cloves of garlic, peeled

3 handfuls of fresh basil leaves

240 mls plus 120 mls of plain soy milk or fresh cream – it’s up to you!

Zest of one lemon

1 box no-cook lasagna sheets

200 grams grated mozzarella cheese (or use soy cheese if you’d like)

Sea salt & pepper to taste

The night before you’re to make this lasagna, you need to prep the tofu. Take a strainer and line with muslin cloth or even a couple of sheets of kitchen roll. Remove the tofu from the packets and place in the strainer/sieve and place over a bowl. Cover with a towel and place weights on it (I just used two tins of tomato). The process will help extract the water from the tofu so that it makes a creamier sauce. Store in the fridge overnight and the next day you’ll see quite a bit of water in the bowl. Discard the water and set tofu aside.

The next day: Preheat the oven to 180 C degrees. In a large sauté pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add in the leeks and cook until soft, about 5 minutes. Add in the frozen peas and cook until the peas are thawed. Add salt and pepper to season and set aside.

In a food processor, blitz together the parmesan cheese, garlic cloves and fresh basil. Now add in the tofu and the 240 mls of soy milk or cream and whizz until smooth. The texture will be like a soft cream cheese at this point. Add in the lemon zest and blitz again.

Now you are ready to assemble the lasagna: In a large baking dish, spread a tiny bit of the tofu cream on the bottom – just spread it around so it coats the bottom. Now place down one layer of lasagna sheets, followed by 1/3 of the tofu cream mixture, 1/2 of the pea/leek mixture and 1/3 of the grated mozzarella. Do this one more time. Now you’ll still have 1/3 of the tofu mixture and 1/3 of the mozzarella left. Put the remaining tofu mixture back in the food processor with the remaining 120 mls of soy milk or cream and blitz – the point is to make the sauce a bit runny so it’s easier to pour over the top of the lasagna. Now place one more layer of lasagna sheets and pour the sauce over it, covering the whole top. Sprinkle with the remaining mozzarella.

Bake in the oven for 35-45 minutes or until the top is golden and bubbly. Let rest for 5-10 minutes (if you can stand to!) and serve.

When I told friends a few months back that I would be attending the wedding of Mountaineering Man’s sister, they all asked me the same question.

Have you ever been to an Irish wedding?

As soon as I’d informed them that I had not, the warnings came fast and furious.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint!

Drink loads of water throughout the day and pace yourself with the drinking!

Grab a sandwich between the church and the reception!

Take a few breaks up in your hotel room if you can!

Apparently Irish weddings can go on for hours and some even go for days. And while the wedding of Nessa and Cathal was perhaps quite mild by Irish standards, it certainly didn’t disappoint by any standard. The church service began at 1 p.m. and MM and I left the reception at about 2:45 a.m. – a total of nearly 14 hours. I heard a handful of guests partied until 5:30 a.m., so suffice it to say it was a proper Irish wedding!

After the church service, we all retreated to a pre-reception cocktail hour at the beautiful Hodson Bay Hotel in Athlone. While the bride, groom and their families took official photographs the rest of the guests enjoyed champagne and canapés in a bright, sunlit room with a fantastic view of the lake Lough Ree. A nice (and very Irish!) touch was provided by MM’s father, who’d been saving a collection of fine whiskeys to share with wedding guests. The bottles, ranging from The Glenlivet to a classic Jameson’s, were lined up along the reception bar for anyone who wanted to take a sip. Needless to say there was a fair number of very grateful guests who took part!

I was blown away by the guests’ attire; everyone was dressed to the nines and many of the women wore intricate hats that’d rival any of those featured at Will and Kate’s nuptials. At that early point in the afternoon, everyone was still quite civilised and the atmosphere was one of quiet enjoyment and chatter about the ceremony. After an hour of sipping champers and meeting a whole load of MM’s relatives and family friends, I made my way to the official dinner reception.

This was where the real party began. After a range of hilarious toasts (including one by the priest – I was half-expecting him to end with, “I’ll be here all week!”), we feasted on a gorgeous meal that included a delicate smoked salmon starter, a medley of seafood and a lovely roasted lamb dish with creamy mashed potatoes and perfectly-cooked vegetables. The wine flowed freely and the bar was busy all night. When the band took the stage everyone flocked to the dance floor and showed off their stuff. I have to say I was most impressed by the slick stylings of the older guests – they gave the young ones a run for their money! Nessa and Cathal also wowed the crowd with their graceful dance moves.

A surprise to the bride and to all the guests was a performance by a group of traditional Irish dancers from Athlone. Wearing straw, cone-shaped hats and colorful country garb, the group put on a remarkable display of old-school Irish dancing and song. In addition there were two young girls who kicked up their heels (literally) to perform Irish stepdancing (made famous by Riverdance). I was absolutely amazed by their technique and skill – it was unlike anything I’d ever seen. After the performance the band came back on and we all danced (and drank!) the night away.

The next evening was the post-wedding day party in a smaller banquet room of the hotel. For me, this intimate party really captured the essence of the Irish wedding as it was all about close family and friends. Coming from a country with a divorce rate of over 50%, it struck me how many whole families were part of the celebration. It was reassuring to see couples who’d been married 40+ years attend the wedding with their grown children and young grandchildren.

After a lovely meal we enjoyed music by an Irish singer/guitarist, which was followed by an old-fashion hootenanny of singing by guests. MM himself led a series of songs that he played on his acoustic guitar, which included a good number of traditional Irish tunes. We all sat around with our drinks singing and clapping and having a wonderful time. It was especially touching to see MM and his sister, side by side, singing together as their parents looked on with pride. I was pretty proud myself – MM can really sing!

Thanks to the advice from my Irish friends – and a mid-weekend hotel spa visit – I survived the weekend with nary a hangover and with energy to spare. At the wedding reception I drank about three glasses of water for every alcoholic drink I had, and I only had a few. At the post-party I enjoyed a few more but stopped early and kept up with the water. I’m glad I did; it was a wonderful weekend that I’ll remember for a long time to come.

In about two weeks’ time, I will be moving south…to Dublin. I suppose in some ways it was inevitable; I was born in Tokyo, grew up in Los Angeles and went to college in San Francisco and I’ve always thrived on the culture and variety that cities offer. But in all honesty when I moved to Drogheda I had no agenda or plan to move anywhere else. I settled in and the only real decision I made was to go with the flow and really just let life happen.

Well, life is leading me to the Big Smoke but I’ll elaborate more on that in my next post. Right now I want to take the opportunity to highlight some of the people, places and things that have made my time in Drogheda truly unforgettable. This town was my introduction to Ireland and my guide to this whole new crazy world I jumped into just over one year ago. I’ll always be grateful to all the people of Drogheda who have helped me adjust to life here.

The Collon Gang: My friends in Collon, a small village not too far from Drogheda, have helped me every step of the way and I can’t thank them enough for all they’ve done for me. The Roche family – namely Sinead, Aoife, Earnan, Nancy and Niall – have taken care of me as if I was one of their own. Where would I be without Nancy’s spaghetti Bolognese or Niall’s snarky insults (trust me, it’s an Irish thing)? I also want to give a big shout-out all those I met through the Roches, many of whom have become my own friends over the last year: Roisin, Niall, Sheila, Bushman, Oisin, Michelle, Mags, Marty, Olga, Sharon, Tom, Ciara, Lesley, Laura, Grainne, Audrey, Marty II, Dan and too many more to mention!

Gerry Kelly and LMFM: Journalist and radio personality Gerry Kelly was one of the first fans of this blog, and within three weeks of moving here he’d written an article for the local paper on An American in Ireland and invited me to be on his radio show. I’ve been on once a month ever since, and for me it’s almost like a therapy session! He allows me to vent about the things that  drive me crazy (like Irish customer service!) and has always been very supportive of my writing. Big props to his producer Deidre as well.

Eastern Seaboard: With its urban-chic interior, casual service and incredible food, Eastern Seaboard Bar & Grill reminds me of my favorite places back home in Los Angeles. I’m going to be dead honest here: Drogheda isn’t exactly the culinary hot-spot of Ireland and there’s not a lot of great restaurants in town, but this is one of the best (the other is La Pizzeria!). When I’m having a rough day, I can pull up to the bar at Eastern Seaboard, have the perfect Cosmo and snack on an array of homemade culinary masterpieces like smoked mackerel pate or slow-roasted tomato crostini. I also love to geek out on the foodie talk with chef Reuven and wife/business partner Jeni, who – quite simply – just get good food.

Traders: For the first 9 months I lived in Drogheda, I couldn’t get a really good cup of coffee. And then Traders came along, thank GOD. This little coffee shop is just like the ones I used to love in LA: they offer a perfectly-brewed cup of coffee, delicious pastries and cakes and beautiful, handcrafted sandwiches.

Taxi Drivers: I adore the taxi drivers of Drogheda. In a word? I’ve got a few: Quirky. Charming. Funny. Whenever I jump into a cab here I know I’m going to get a few minutes of good craic on everything from local politics to the weather (but of course!). I happen to live right near the taxi rank on Dyer Street so I’ve gotten to know a good few of these guys – thanks for the smiles and the great service.

The River Boyne: This is the river that runs through Drogheda, and even though there are heaps of abandoned shopping trolleys, old shoes and quite possibly a dead body or two in the water, when the high tide covers all that junk it’s a beautiful auld river. I’m lucky enough to live right on the River Boyne, and there are many mornings when I stand on the bridge and soak in the salty sea breeze and gaze down the long body of water for a little quiet time.

Boyd’s: I love this store. Boyd’s is one of those shops that has a bunch of leftover inventory from other stores at super low prices. From birthday cards to toothpaste and pie plates to dust bins, Boyd’s has it. I practically kitted out my entire kitchen and bathrooms with stuff I bought from this shop. Best of all? The service is always first class.

There are so many more places/people/things – way too many to list but I’ll try: The Mattock Rangers, Kirwan’s Fish Cart, La Pizzeria, Mathew’s Pub in Collon, Tracy, Keith, Anne, Pete the Collon taxi driver, Kevin McAllister’s shop, McCloskey’s Bakery, Marks & Spencer in Laurence Town Centre, Sampson’s Butcher Shop, Clark’s Pub, Carolyn Stanley, Kristin & Matt, Friday Farmer’s Market on West Street and Gerard Tuite and so many more…

Drogheda, I’ll miss you (and will be back often – it’s only a 45-minute drive away!).

Being on set with all the cameras and lights and rigs was a thrill and when the actors came out we giggled with excitement. The biggest star of the film was ‘80s child actress Alyssa Milano, who at the time was trying to break her good-girl image. I remember she wore a skimpy outfit and smoked cigarettes and made out with one her male costars in between takes. That male costar was a very wet-behind-the-ears Ben Affleck, sporting a bitchin’ Vanilla Ice hairdo. (It should be noted that many years later, we realized the cast was actually quite impressive: Matt Damon, Matthew McConaughey, Brendan Fraser – all of whom were complete unknowns back then – as well as the late, great Spalding Gray were all in the movie). We soaked in the atmosphere and did everything we could to get an understanding of the storyline, but because we were just extras no one told us anything. We had no idea what the movie was about but we didn’t care. We were just happy to be there.

For this scene, Cat and I walked behind the cast holding stuffed animals that we’d supposedly won at a carnival game. It took over a dozen takes for the cast to get their lines right!

 Because the scenes being filmed that day were at the boardwalk (a beachside amusement park), Cat and I were placed on a Ferris wheel along with a dozen other extras. We were given fake boxes of popcorn to hold. The instructions were to pretend like we were eating popcorn and to NOT look at the camera. Going around and around on the wheel, we had a great view of Alyssa and Ben doing their big romantic scene a few feet away from the ride. At first it was enjoyable; we had the wind in our hair and a fantastic view of the ocean. But after the 20^th take, which was about the 1000^th turn on the Ferris wheel, our initial excitement started to dissipate. We felt confused and pointless…without an understanding of the big picture we lost interest. The view was starting to blur and my head hurt. Finally another extra in the seat above ours yelled out, “I’m gonna f*cking HURL!” which prompted the director to stop the ride and replace us with a new set of extras. Green in the face and disillusioned, we filmed one more scene and then ditched the set and went home before the day was even over.

Sometimes life in Ireland, as a foreigner, can feel a bit like being an extra in a film. At first there’s all this excitement at the newness and strangeness of it all, followed by a long learning process that presents a new challenge every other day. There are so many things I’m still clueless about, like the current election candidates and their political parties and what they represent and how the whole process even works. Trying to wrap my brain around all of it has been a struggle. Even something as seemingly insignificant as Irish and British celebrities can be frustrating at times; I peruse the magazine stands and have no idea who these people are (more often than not, I will not know any of the five contenders on “Celebrity Come Dine with Me”). It’s just weird living in a place where so many things are still unfamiliar to me. At times it feels like I’m back on that Ferris wheel, squinting and struggling to get a Big Picture grasp on things.

But I’m not going to ditch Ireland and go home. The ride can make me a bit green in the face at times, but I’m nowhere near disillusioned. Like that movie with Alyssa Milano – called Glory Daze – the cast here in Ireland (MM, my friends, fellow bloggers, etc.) is pretty amazing and despite the frustrations I’m not going anywhere – you’re stuck with me. Maybe soon I’ll move up from being an extra to a supporting player…we’ll just have to wait and see!

“You’re a Star!” Apple Tart Tatin (adapted from the Barefoot Contessa)

This cake requires confidence and gusto; because it requires you to turn it out onto a plate 15 minutes after removing from the oven, there’s no room for hesitation or fear. And if some of the apple or caramel gets stuck to the baking dish, you have to figure it out quickly. It’s difficult but when you turn it over and it comes out cleanly, you’ll feel like a star! When I made this for MM’s parents, I had to do a little patch-work job on the few bits that were left stuck to the dish but it all worked out in the end!

6 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus extra for greasing the dish

1 1/4 apples, peeled and sliced into 12 pieces

350 grams granulated sugar, divided

2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature

82 grams non-fat natural yogurt

1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

120 grams plus 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

Icing sugar

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees C.

Generously butter a 9-inch glass pie dish and arrange the apples in the dish, cut side down.

Combine 200 grams of the granulated sugar and 80 ml water in a small saucepan and cook over high heat until it turns a warm amber color, about 185 degrees C on a candy thermometer. Swirl the pan but don’t stir. Pour evenly over the apple slices.

Meanwhile, cream the 6 tablespoons of butter and the remaining granulated sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, until light and fluffy. Lower the speed and beat in the eggs 1 at a time. Add the yogurt, zest, and vanilla and mix until combined. Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt and, with the mixer on low speed, add it to the butter mixture. Mix only until combined.

Pour the cake batter evenly over the apple slices and bake for 30 to 40 minutes, until a cake tester comes out clean. Cool for 15 minutes, then invert the cake onto a flat plate. If an apple slice sticks, ease it out and replace it in the design on top of the cake. Serve warm or at room temperature, dusted with icing sugar.

In a word, Ireland is scrappy. It’s determined, at times aggressive and definitely rough around the edges. Coming from the shiny, glossy land of perfection that is Los Angeles, it’s a relief to live in a place where being flawed is perfectly acceptable…even on television.

I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I slag off the Xposé girls for their oft-colorful choices in wardrobe and haphazard-looking makeup ‘dos. But in truth it’s actually refreshing to see normal women on television, especially considering all the big entertainment news shows in the U.S. are hosted by waifish talking heads who spend more time starving themselves than researching stories (on that note, I have to ask: Can Giuliana Rancic get any thinner?). I like that Karen Koster often looks like she did her own hair and makeup, and I don’t mean that in an insulting way. She looks real, like someone I’d actually know – not like the diva with a team of stylists and airbrushers at her beckon call.

And it’s not just the look that’s imperfect. On a recent episode of Xposé, one of the presenters (I think it was Lisa Cannon) asked Cameron Diaz why she prefers movies with a “green theme.” When Diaz gave a look of bewilderment, Cannon rambled something about how Shrek and The Green Hornet both had green “things” in them. Initially I cringed (like most viewers, no doubt!), but then again as a former entertainment journalist I know more than anyone that sometimes nerves get the better of you. I once asked Rivers Cuomo of Weezer what he meant by the lyrics, “My mind turns to an orange mess” and he looked at me like I was nuts (the lyric was actually, “My mind begins the arrangements.”). If I’m honest I love that Xposé chose to leave that in, to show Cannon and her awkward moment with the glamorous celebrity.

Where in LA things are often presented with the most flattering filter and silky-smooth sheen and a “been-there-done-that” lackadaisical attitude, Ireland is refreshingly earnest. Recently Ireland AM’s Sinead Desmond had a sit-down with Harrison Ford; she was absolutely giddy and openly talked about her enthusiasm every day for a week leading up to the televised interview. During her talk with Ford she had a difficult time containing her excitement, which seemed to actually charm the notoriously-grumpy actor. In LA, presenters think of themselves as celebrities so they’d never actually show any open admiration for the people they interview. “Oh, Harrison and I go way back, we’re hoping to summer together in the Hamptons this year,” would not be an unusual statement by a celeb reporter in Hollywood. Believe me; I’ve heard similar declarations first-hand.

I often get the feeling that these Irish entertainment news presenters have to stretch what they can get, because press junkets rarely come to Ireland. I’m sure their budgets are incredibly tight and every one person is doing the job of two or three people. Even in London, it seems the Irish ent news shows are given last-place spots on the red carpet, leaving reporters scrambling for face time with even minor movie actors. It means they have to work harder, be more enterprising and do the best they can with what they’ve got. Like I said, scrappy. And I like it.

Sweet Teriyaki Pork with Seaweed Rice

For Valentine’s Day, I made this easy and delicious dish for MM – someone who (thankfully!) accepts me as I am – scrappy, imperfect, flaws and all! I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

For the marinade:

½ cup dark soy sauce (important to get dark soy sauce – available at Asian markets)

¼ cup rice wine vinegar

3 tablespoons brown sugar

1 tablespoon minced ginger

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil

2 spring onions, finely diced

For the rice:

1 cup brown rice – cook according to package directions (start with 1 cup UNCOOKED brown rice, will yield about 2 cups cooked)

3 tablespoons of aonori-ko (dried green seaweed, available at Drury Street Asian Market or here). If you cannot find this, simply buy nori, or dried seaweed sheets (like they use in sushi) and cut into small pieces with a scissors and toss with the rice.

For pork:

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 lb pork loin, cut into 2-inch pieces

1 red bell pepper, sliced thinly

5 spring onions, cut into 2-inch strips

In a large Tuperware, mix all the marinade ingredients together until the sugar is completely dissolved. Add in the pork and let marinate for at least 2 hours and up to 24 hours.

An hour before you are ready to eat, prepare the rice according to package directions. After the rice is cooked, mix in the aonori-ko and set aside.

Drain the marinade and set the pork aside. In a large sauté pan, heat the oil over medium-high heat. You want the pan to be hot, though not smoking. Add the red bell peppers first, cooking for about 2-3 minutes. Then throw in the spring onions and pork and cook until the pork is completely cooked through, about 5 minutes. Serve the pork over the rice.

Yesterday as Mountaineering Man and I watched a food and travel program that profiled outdoor dining, he turned to me and said, “We’ve never dined al fresco, have we?” I replied no, we had not, and that the only time I’d ever eaten outdoors in Ireland was on the two gloriously sunny and warm days back in May of last year – before we’d met.

I still remember those two days as if they were last week. I woke up to a ray of light filtering through my curtains and into my bedroom, and I knew that day was different than any other I’d experienced in Ireland. Instead of tiptoeing on my freezing floor toward the well-used heater (a routine most days), I threw the covers off and felt natural warmth…from the sun! Immediately I rang my friends. They, too, were already awake with excitement over this freakishly warm weather. We made plans to meet in town and quickly got ready; we understood that any doddling could result in missing this fleeting phenomenon.

Oh how we basked in the splendor of the sun those two days! We ate salads outside the Highlanes Gallery in Drogheda, sipping Pinot Grigio and donning sleeveless blouses. We walked across the footbridge at Scotch Hall, stopping to feel the warm sea breeze kicked up by jet skiers buzzing up and down the River Boyne. We struggled to find parking at Clogherhead beach but we didn’t mind; there were literally hundreds of people sunbathing on the sand and the sight of all those stark-white Irish bodies getting a few bits of Vitamin D was magnificent! There was plenty for everyone! People were smiling, birds chirping and even babies quieted at this momentous occasion. The sun was out and it was warm…dare I say it was HOT, even!

Though we had a relatively dry summer last year, we’ve yet to see (or feel) the kind of sun we had those two days in May, and even though it’s taken me nearly a year I’ve accepted the fact that I live in a country where frostbite is more common than a [natural] tan. The weather report is nearly the same every day: “Cold, with some dry spells and a chance of rain.” I don’t even know why they bother with a weather report at all, really. But occasionally we do get some sun around here, and though it rarely gives off any heat it’s nice to take advantage of the rays when we can. Last weekend we had one of those sunny days so we put on our down jackets and spent some time walking around Johnstown Castle in Wexford. And it was lovely.

Mexican Vegetarian “Lasagna”

One of the ways I cope with the cold weather is by eating a good deal of comfort food. As long as it’s warm, filling and tasty, it qualifies. The only issue with this type of food is it can often be unhealthy, so I try to create dishes that are both comforting and healthy. This Mexican Vegetarian “Lasagna” has full-fat cheese, but it’s balanced with whole wheat tortillas and tons of veggies. I think it’s safe to say it’s one of MM’s new favorites. Enjoy!

1 tablespoon olive oil, plus a bit more to coat the baking dish

1 large white onion, diced

1 red bell pepper, diced

½ green bell pepper, diced

Corn cut from two corn cobs

1 red chili, seeded and diced

1 packet of Taco seasoning (a bit of a Jamie Oliver trick here to save time!)

1 can of kidney beans, drained and rinsed

5 ounces of grated cheddar cheese

4 whole wheat tortillas (you can also use corn or regular flour tortillas if you prefer)

3 spring onions, minced

1/2 bunch coriander (cilantro), minced

Preheat the oven to 170 C degrees. In a large sauté pan, heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil and throw in the onion, bell peppers, corn and chili. Cook until tender, about 7 minutes. Add in the packet of Taco seasoning and mix, making sure the vegetables get coated with the spices. Add in the kidney beans and mix. Remove from heat.

Using a kitchen roll (paper towel) and a bit of olive oil, grease a large casserole dish. Now it’s time to layer the casserole. The bottom layer will be the tortillas; feel free to cut them to fit the dish. Then scoop on 1/3 of the vet/bean mixture and top with 1/3 of the grated cheese. Repeat this two more times so that the top is a cheese layer. Place in the oven and bake for 20 minutes or until the cheese is bubbling. Sprinkle spring onion and coriander on top. Let cool for 5 minutes and then serve with guacamole (my preference!) and a salad.

Matt Wright’s Buckwheat Pancakes, a favorite weekend treat.

Sometimes it feels like I’ve always known how to cook, though that can’t possibly be an accurate statement. But from a very young age I understood the joy of cooking for others, thanks to parents who taught my sister and me that most important value.

I think we were just 8 years old when they bought us a kids’ cookbook by Better Homes and Gardens. It contained recipes for things like “Hot Dog Roll Ups” and “Super Supper Salad,” easy meals that kids could put together. I think the most complicated of the bunch was a recipe for a “Creamy Lemony Pie,” which consisted of a store-bought, graham cracker crust and a filling made entirely of condensed milk, whipped cream and lemon juice. The point of the book wasn’t to turn us kids into gourmands, but to teach us how to put a meal together and, more importantly, the pleasure and satisfaction of feeding others.

Starter of seared scallops on rocket with warm lemon dressing; Main course of pan-fried mackerel with salsa verde and couscous - the first meal I cooked for my boyfriend in my tiny Irish kitchen!

Since moving to Ireland, cooking has become a humbling experience that’s taken my ego down a few pegs. I went from having a decent-sized kitchen to one with about two feet of useable counter space and I left behind my beloved Kitchen Aid mixer and Cuisinart food processor as they were too costly to ship and required convertors. But the biggest change was going from a gas stove/oven to electric, which I’m still not used to. In the last two weeks alone I’ve had exactly three major baking disasters involving biscotti that refused to set, sesame cookies that came out as sticky sheets of goo and granola that burned to a crisp. Oh I also burned my hand and sliced the heck out of my thumb. Good times!

Enchiladas, made in my partner’s even smaller and more challenging (as in he has very few utensils, pans, etc.) kitchen!

There are other obstacles as well, like that Irish butter contains a lot more butterfat than American, which has led to more screwed up cakes and biscuits than I care to admit. Or that Irish recipes are all in grams and ounces vs. cups and pounds. Then there’s the fact than in Drogheda, I don’t have access to all the exotic ingredients that were everyday staples in Los Angeles. Last week I went to three stores in town to find avocados.

But even with all these challenges, I still love to cook. I think I actually appreciate it more than I did when I had all those bells and whistles at my fingertips. In some ways I’ve had to re-learn how to cook in my new environment, and the satisfaction I feel when my friends and boyfriend devour something I’ve made is kind of like how one would feel after finishing a 1000-piece puzzle, with a blindfold on and one arm tied behind her back. OK, maybe I’m exaggerating here but it feels really good.

A packed house at the Eastern Seaboard Bar & Grill in Drogheda

If you live in Ireland, the only news you’ve been hearing about for the last few weeks is that the country is on the verge of collapse and that it’s covered in snow. From the way some people talk, you should be packing your bags and fleeing Ireland right about now. Just be sure you don’t slip on all that black ice while you’re getting the hell outta Dodge.

While I’m not arguing that Ireland is in some serious financial trouble, the onslaught of negative commentary on the subject is down-right exhausting. What people are overlooking is that in spite of it all, there are little glimmers of hope all around and perhaps it’s more productive to highlight the positive instead of jumping on the bad news bandwagon. To put it simply: it makes more sense to focus on what you want, not what you fear.

Everything you need for cake baking and decorating at Cake Couture in Drogheda

In Drogheda, a town that is frequently featured in the news as hard hit by the recession, there are new and old businesses thriving despite it all. Cake Couture, a baking supply and decorating shop, was opened in August by local Aoife Collins. On the surface, opening a niche business selling higher-priced, specialty items (usually the type of goods that are first to be sacrificed by consumers during a recession) seems like an incredibly risky move. But the risk has paid off. According to store employee Grace Clark, business is brisk.

“Before we opened you had to go to Dublin, Cork or Limerick to find the type of items we sell,” said Clark. “We have people coming down from Dundalk and Newry and even as far as Clare who up until we opened were getting these items from England. They all tell us ‘Thank God you’re here, I don’t have to travel so far to get what I need!’ It’s great feedback.”

The shop also offers 6-week sugar crafting classes that are so popular they’re booked up until May 2011. At the moment Cake Couture sells a limited number of personalized cakes but will be expanding to install a kitchen on site, which will allow the shop to offer more cakes for occasions like weddings, birthdays and hen/stag events.

Another new business enjoying a good deal of success is Traders, a coffee café on Laurence Street. The small and cozy café sells gourmet coffee drinks, handmade sandwiches, hot soup and a variety of baked goods like biscuits, scones and tarts. Owners Eoin Holmes and Niamh Fagen came to the table with no restaurant or food business experience, but what they did bring was a passion for coffee and a determination to succeed. Again, a chancy business during trying financial times, but Holmes cites the recession as the reason why his business is doing so well. Say what?

Traders Coffee Shop in Drogheda offers fresh-made food and gourmet coffee

“What we had to do was work and rework and rework our numbers, business plan and focus of operation because we had to work the pitch to a very fine point in order to secure a loan. Had we tried to do this 3-4 years ago, we might have been a bit lazier with that, but what the recession forced us to do was get it right,” says Holmes. “We couldn’t just slap something together.”

Part of getting it right involved months of honing into what people want and what they’re willing to pay when it comes to food. “When Irish people are abroad they have the most simple food, in most cases local, peasant fare like a piece of great cheese on a beautiful French baguette, and they say, ‘Why can’t we get food like this at home?’ We have that food here in Ireland but the problem has been getting it to market. So we did the research and we found amazing Glebe Brethan cheese by Tiernan’s in Dunleer and fantastic soup from Soup Dragon in Dublin and the best coffee from Ariosa Coffee Roasting Co. in Ashbourne. We were prepared to go outside of Ireland if we needed to, but we didn’t,” says Holmes.

As a regular at Traders myself, I can say the place is bustling and that the locals have really taken to the café. Business is so good that Holmes and his partner are currently researching a second and possibly even third location.

It seems that with a little elbow grease, a lot of research and an amazing product, new businesses still have a chance at success – despite the odds. Give people what they want: quality and great service, whether it’s good food or a niche product that’s currently hard to find, and they will come. Other businesses in Drogheda are proving this theory as well, and while they are not new they are showing all the naysayers by exhibiting long-term success. D’Vine, a popular Italian restaurant, recently moved from a tiny location in a Drogheda alleyway to a space three-times the size of its original spot and the place is still packed most nights. The Eastern Seaboard, a fantastic bistro offering a variety freshly-made fare, is so busy it’s nearly impossible to get a booking for a Friday or Saturday less than two weeks in advance. On a recent visit to the Eastern Seaboard, I overheard a man in the packed dining room exclaim, “What recession? You certainly don’t feel it in here!”

Holmes has this piece of advice for anyone thinking of starting a business in these difficult (but not impossible) times: “Get your entire concept down into one line and into a very easily understood concept for somebody else. Know exactly what it is you’re going to be doing. Avoid the spork. Is it a fork or a spoon? No one knows. Therefore, it won’t sell!”

Few things are more humbling than moving to another country on your own. After the novelty wears off and the dust settles and you realize just how far away you are from home, it knocks you back a bit. And God knows I needed to be knocked back a bit.

To be honest, I’ve never been the humble type. When I was younger, I said everything that came to my mind and put my foot in my mouth on a regular basis. I often think about an incident from back when I was a lowly newsroom assistant in my early 20s. My editor, a wiry, pencil-thin woman named Jondi Ward, was someone I decided right away I didn’t like. She was good at her job but was absolutely stone-cold to me no matter how well I performed my duties and was fiercely critical when I fell short of her expectations. I never approached her about my concerns, because at that age being right was more important than a resolution. I chose to talk smack to anyone who’d listen, particularly to the night-desk crew. This was the group of guys who’d stumble in for their 2 p.m. shift, bleary-eyed from another late night of putting the paper to bed topped off with a few (or several) nightcaps. The night-desk chief, Grant Condy, a slightly gruff, mid-40s man with a soft-center of a heart, was my go-to ear for my Jondi b*tch-sessions.

I always went for shock value when speaking of my ill-feelings toward Jondi; I’d pepper my rants with the “c” word and other colorful insults. In my immaturity I felt very punk rock about the whole thing and was convinced I was a crusader, the Brave One, someone willing to speak out (though never to Jondi herself!) about the mistreatment I had to endure – oh how the world revolved around me back then! Grant always responded with empathetic nods and a few neutral yet wise words of wisdom like “Just hang on in there!” Though he never partook in the sh*t-slinging, I felt he understood. He just got me.

Several months into the job, I was sitting at home on my day off when my phone rang. It was my best friend and roommate Catherine, who also worked as an assistant at the same paper. “Oh my GOD, you are never going to believe this!” she squealed. “I think Grant is having an affair with Jondi!” I was stunned. How could this be? “Well I overheard them in the kitchen saying something about seeing a movie together later,” she continued. I was dumbfounded. I’d never even seen them acknowledge each other in the office, so this was quite unusual. I knew Grant was married, as was Jondi, and I was pretty sure she had a son. My mind raced, trying to recall conversations, mental images of her husband or his wife or her son – anything that could help make sense of this outlandish gossip.

We whispered to each other on the phone for another few minutes (I don’t know why I was whispering), exchanging theories and seeking clues. Then, suddenly, Catherine yelped, “Wait. Wait. I have to call you right back!” and hung up. A few minutes later, the phone rang. “I just checked the company phone list…and they have the same home phone number,” she said, her voice cracking. I could not process the information; my mind went blank. I said nothing. “They have the same…home…phone…number,” she repeated. My brain couldn’t catch up and I still just sat there, unable to comprehend the news. “Don’t you understand? They are married. To each other!” she cried. My heart skipped several beats. I reviewed what I knew: I never witnessed a single exchange between the two. Her name is Jondi Ward. His is Grant Condy. I shared this seemingly strong evidence with Catherine.

“Think about it. Who wants a name like Jondi Condy?” she said. It all became clear in that moment. I had spent the last several months telling Grant, almost on a daily basis, that I thought his wife was a c***. Humiliated? Yes. Remorseful? Yep. Humbled? Absolutely. I went in the next day, tail between my legs, and apologized profusely to Grant. He, being the consummate professional, accepted. When I asked him why he never said anything, he replied, “You’re young. Everything is a big deal to you and I accept that you genuinely feel that way. I was just giving you room to vent.” A class act, that one.

The greatest benefit of having moved here, so far away from home, has been time for reflection and lessons in humility. For the first time in a long while, I am the one who knows nothing, who needs the help of others, who is fumbling her way through it all. It’s f-ing scary sometimes, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a few tearful nights here and there. Though I’d already come a long way from the Jondi Condy days before moving here, I still have some work to do. At the risk of sounding like a total navel-gazer, I made the move because I had to lose myself in something bigger than me to grow up, move forward and learn. So far, it’s been a humbling experience, and a great one at that.

Humble Whiskey Pie

I call this Humble Whiskey Pie because, on the surface, it looks very plain and unassuming. It’s not proud or assertive, like other more elaborate and colorful pies. You probably already have most of the ingredients for this pie in your pantry, especially if you’re Irish (chocolate and whiskey, anyone?) so it doesn’t cost much to make. And accompanied by a humble apology, it will certainly inspire forgiveness from those you’ve offended. Grant, this one’s for you!

110 grams unsalted butter

180 grams granulated sugar

120 grams all-purpose flour

3 large eggs

3 fluid ounces of Irish whiskey

200 grams of roughly-chopped milk chocolate

100 grams chopped toasted hazelnuts

1 pastry pie shell for a 10-inch pie dish

Preheat the oven to 135 C. In a medium saucepan over low heat, melt the butter and let cool slightly. Beat in the eggs, one at a time, into the butter and set aside. In a large bowl, sift together the sugar and flour. Add in the butter/egg mixture, Irish whiskey, chocolate and hazelnuts and stir. Pour the mixture into the pie shell and place in the middle of the oven. Bake for 15 minutes, then turn the temperature to 150 C and bake for an additional 45 minutes or until the center is firm. Remove and let cool. Serve with a dollop of whipped cream.