Wed 2 Jun 2010
Chivalry is Alive and Well…in Ireland
Posted by Clare under Moving to Ireland
[16] Comments
If you were to ask most people to describe me, I think one of the first adjectives they’d use is independent. In the literal sense, I am single, live alone and have no kids or pets. Very independent. In compliance with the larger meaning of the word, I don’t often require the help of others, have and show a deep desire for freedom and rarely look to others’ opinions for guidance in conduct.
Sometimes my independence is a good thing; I’m very proud of the fact that in most situations, I can rely on myself. I can stitch a hem, operate a weed wacker, drive a stick shift, throw a mean left hook, identify a crescent wrench, and bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. But there are times when being a self-governing island creates a feeling of isolation and indifference. And as difficult as it is for me to admit, it can also make me feel less…like a woman.
Since settling down in Ireland, that sense of inadequacy has faded thanks to the chivalrous nature of Irish men . While they may have a reputation for being drunken louts a bit much at times, they can be quite gracious otherwise. For example, my male friends always get up and allow us girls to take their seats when we are at a pub or party; I have not once witnessed one of my guy friends sitting down when a woman is standing. They’re quick to open doors and buy rounds and bring in the coal (for the fireplace) and perform heavy lifting when required. Their chivalry is instinctual; rarely do they need to be asked to assist in such matters.
My group of friends includes a number of guys, and though they have jobs and girlfriends and kids and social lives they’ve been incredibly kind and helpful to me. One put together a book shelf that was way too awkward for me to deal with; another patiently endured a shopping trip for home goods only to carry all my heavy purchases to and from the car; yet another took me car shopping (which I’m sure he can attest was exhausting at times!) and negotiated a much better deal than I ever could have. I observe many of the men in town carry out random acts of chivalry on a daily basis. Little do they realize that these small and seemingly insignificant gestures actually mean a lot.
There’s a lot of emphasis on being an independent woman, especially in a place like Los Angeles where I’m from. But it’s also important to acknowledge that sometimes, nothing compares to the feeling of being treated like a woman, and part of that includes accepting help from a man. For the past several years I’ve been so busy exerting my self-sufficiency that I’ve forgotten what that’s like. I’m grateful to the chivalrous men of this small town for helping me to remember.
I made these Tuxedo Brownies for my well-mannered friends, who [dutifully] volunteered for the photos above. Thanks to Trevor, Earnan and Niall for being such good sports!
Tuxedo Brownies
(Makes about 15)
1 cup unsalted butter
2 cups sugar
1 vanilla bean
4 large eggs
1 1/3 cups cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
2 cups of chopped milk chocolate (or chocolate chips)
Ganache Topping
8 ounces dark chocolate, chopped
1 tablespoon heavy cream
Tuxedo Topping
4 ounces white chocolate, chopped
1 teaspoon heavy cream
Chocolate sprinkles
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a saucepan, melt the butter over low heat. Add the sugar and the seeds from the vanilla bean and stir to combine. Pour the butter mixture into a large bowl and let cool for 5 minutes.
Stir in the eggs, one at a time until fully incorporated. Stir in the cocoa powder, salt, baking powder and vanilla and mix until thoroughly combined. Stir in the flour until just combined, then add the chopped chocolate pieces. Pour into a 9×13 baking pan, lined with tinfoil, and bake for 30-35 minutes.
While the brownies bake, make the ganache. Simply melt the dark chocolate and heavy cream together in a saucepan over low heat. If the mixture is too thick, add more heavy cream. In another saucepan, do the same thing with the white chocolate and heavy cream, also adding more cream for a thinner consistency.
Remove the brownies from the oven and cool for 15 minutes. Using a small cookie cutter, cut rounds out of the brownies and set on a cooling rack over paper towels. Spoon the dark chocolate ganache over each brownie round, allowing it to drip down the sides. Then drizzle with the white chocolate mixture and sprinkle with chocolate sprinkles. Refrigerate to let cool.
*Sighs* When I was *PREGNANT* men on the San Francisco muni and BART didn’t offer their seats for me. Rude non-chivalrous California men. The worst!
P.S. Your friends are haawtt. (Ok, I already knew Trevor was.) ;-P
I hear you, sisters. Sometimes I think California has politically corrected itself into denying that there’s anything unique about anyone, which is really a shame.
Men and women are *not* the same, as previously pregnant Cat points out in her example. People should treat each other with kindness and respect, not as if we’re all exactly alike. We all have different strengths, weaknesses, and needs at different points in our lives.
Here’s to being independent *and* feminine — and letting those three cute, chivalrous Irish men treat you right. 😉
Cat: That’s terrible!! That’s just inexcusable. You’ll have to come visit me here, then you can see Trev again too! 🙂 Too bad Towley (aka Terry) doesn’t live here anymore, lol.
Reb: Totally agree! Oh these three are going to get big heads after reading your “cute” comment, trust me!
I am sad to say that chivalry is on the decline in Dublin but mostly with younger men(up to early 20s) who allow doors to fall back in your face, plough through you on the street and feel entitled to a seat on public transport above the elderly, infirm or pregnant. I am however thankful that my husband and our friends are the last of this dying breed. My husband opens doors for me, will always give up his seat in a bar even for a girl not in our company, walks on the outside of the pavement to shelter me from passing traffic and gives me full umberella access on rainy days to protect my blow dried hair while he quietly gets soaked. A true gentleman if ever I met one.
As a feminist and lesbian, this post was very hard and painful to read haha. I will just filter through the post and focus on your independent nature and those yummy tuxedo brownies to get me through the day :D. But I must say that I don’t need a man to feel more like or be treated more like a woman.
I’m so jealous that you live in Ireland!! So nice.
likemaused2bake: That’s sad to hear. Maybe it’s because I live in a small town but even the younger generation here seems to be very polite and chivalrous. I never experienced such a thing in LA, lol.
Memoria: I appreciate it but don’t “need” it per se…this was a very difficult post to write as I knew it would offend some people, but it’s just how I feel. 🙂 Thanks for leaving a comment and definitely try the brownies!
Nice photography! The brownies look and sound delicious. And it’s great to have such supportive friends. It sounds like you are treasuring them well.
Great post! I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog and kudos to you for being so adventurous. When I studied abroad in Ireland, I found some really great guys who would help you out with anything. The first day I moved into my house, my amazing roommate instantly took my severely over packed bags up to my room before my independent self even had a chance to lift a finger. I can’t wait to come back this summer and experience more chivalry and cheer!
Great post and pics! It could be from GQ Ireland!!!!
I am a resident of Southern California and of late spend a great deal of time in Ireland. I have visited and spent time in points east and west, love Dingle, Kilkenny Galway and Donegal. I spend most of my time in Dublin though as I have a girlfriend who resides there. I was raised to be a gentleman and I believe I maintain those standards, my girlfriend fully appreciates my considerations but at times she bridles at my attempts at chivalry…perhaps it is the desire to be independent and not to rely on men, there seems to be a little bit of a balancing act that goes on in todays world. The efforts of a man to be gallant and the resistance of woman to being treated as “helpless”. It’s a puzzlement but I believe in erring on the side of the angels.
Steve: Right? I couldn’t have asked for better models if I’d asked Ford Modeling Agency in NYC myself 🙂
Marc: Props to you for erring on the side of angels. I’m sure the women in your life surely appreciate it!
At first I thought those pics are some movie posters! I totally agree with Stevo.
Well, I’ve spent a good two hours reading all of your posts to date, and now… I’m starving. 🙂 I’m definitely going to try some of the recipes you’ve put up!
And I’m looking forward to reading more.
Those look so yummy! I have a brownie problem… any type of chocolate disappears in this house in about two days.
Also, in response to your guy friends, oh heeeeeey. Tell them to come to Baltimore! haha
Sigh! Finally some appreciation for Irish men! Im Irish and absolutely love Irish men. They are so much fun, don’t take themselves seriously, the best to party with and you can beat a man lighting a fire for you & carrying the bags. My BF is a west of Ireland man, who carries things, fixes stuff, drives when we’re both in the car & does loads of that type of thing. He even cooks!I can drive, cook very well, carry things etc but when he does it for me it makes me feel so appreciated. In return I cook delicious dinners for him(which he really appreciates),am a good listener (Im a Psychologist by trade) and take care of him in loads of ways. I think its wonderful to be kind & appreciate others, men have their strengths, as do women and its great to share them with each other.
M: The fellas are going to be getting really big egos over all these comments! 🙂
Mara: Thanks a million, so happy to have you here!
Sarah: Unfortunately all three are spoken for! But I will put the word out to my single Irish guy friends, lol.
Sorcha: Yes, I agree – they need to be acknowledged for their good deeds!