Tue 5 Apr 2011
Through Gritted Teeth
Posted by Clare under Expats in Ireland, living in Ireland, Rants
[19] Comments
For the most part, I really enjoy living in Ireland and I think I make that relatively clear in this blog. But there are days – and today is one of those days – where I really hate certain things about living here. Yes, I used the “h” word.
Since I try to be honest about my experience here I feel I should share the reasons why. This morning Mountaineering Man and I awoke to find a window had been smashed in his apartment building; apparently some jerkface kids in the neighborhood think it’s funny to throw rocks at windows until they shatter into a million pieces all over the sidewalk below. The window wasn’t MM’s, but rather one that looks out from the inside stairwell. There are several apartment blocks in his area that have numerous smashed communal windows, likely by the same culprits.
I’ve been seeing a lot of these moronic kids lately. Last Saturday night, as MM and his friend and I sat in a local pub, a group of four tween girls walked into the bar. Though they kept near the entrance, they loudly jeered at the barman from across the room.
“We were here last night,” one said, grinding her hips provocatively. “Last night, we were 18 years old here!”
The barman yelled for them to get out, but she kept going.
“But last night I was 18, don’t you remember?” she teased. Finally as the barman made his way toward them, they walked out. However, they stood outside, looking in from the street, taunting the barman with a variety of obscene hand gestures.
A few minutes later, two garda walked by. I felt some relief; though they were mere kids, several more had joined the girls and now they were a group of 8 or so. As the garda walked past, the girls mocked them and getting all up in their business, so to speak. One even lifted up her shirt to reveal her bra, thrusting her chest very close to one of the guards.
What did they do? Nothing. The guards laughed and kept walking, even though the girls followed them at least half-way down the street, hurling insults the whole way. They were about as effective as American mall security guards in that situation. Wait, scratch that. Mall security guards would have at least asked them to leave or rang the real police for that type of disruptive behavior. The kids in this scenario continued to harass every patron that passed them to enter the bar until finally the barman’s girlfriend went outside and gave them orders to get away or else she would ring some garda who would actually do something. I admired her for taking a stand.
That type of enforcement is incredibly rare around here. I don’t know what came first: Irish people’s indifference and general apathy or the sheer unresponsiveness of those in charge. Though this is the second window that’s been broken in MM’s apartment building in the last month, the building management hasn’t done sh*t about it (and the tenants pay a heft “management” fee annually for their services, or lack thereof). And while MM did ring and talk to someone at the management company, I’m not sure if anyone else in the building has done anything similar. People are surely fed up, but it seems their attitude is, “Ah nothing will be done about it anyway.” Call me typically American but what does it take for people to band together and demand change? Moreover, what does it take for those in charge to actually do their jobs?
I’m certainly not the poster child for American nationalism – the U.S. has its own share of problems. But I will say this: Americans generally have a D.I.Y. attitude, and we’re firm believers in the idea that each of us needs to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. No one else is going to do it for us. I really wish I saw more of this in Ireland instead of the incredible ennui that seems to be the norm here. Needless to say I’m not referring to the entire population – I am only going on what I’ve seen so far.
In any case, tomorrow is a new day and I’m sure I’ll have a new attitude. But today I just had to vent. Thanks for reading.
Ha ha ha, Knacker is now part of your vocab!! 🙂 Love it.
I know. I really do. I’m not sure if it’s apathy or if it’s not wanting to be the snitch… but a lot of Irish people seem to avoid confrontation and just give out to their friends and family instead. Sort of defeats the purpose, eh?
Oisin: Didn’t realize “knacker” refers to kids in the Travelling community so I changed it to more general terms!
Maryann: I think it’s apathy and the whole not-snitching thing is a poor excuse. If people put half the energy into doing something as they do in complaining that nothing gets done, Ireland would be in better shape.
I totally understand this and have had MANY similar experiences only to watch the Irish sit back and do NOTHING! It seems to be a problem with not wanting to confront and “deal” with problems…this country would be in better shape if the Irish “stood up to the plate.”
it is nice to ‘hear’ your honesty. The grass is not always greener on the other side. No matter where you live you will always see and experience behaviour that is undesirable. I wondering though …. Why did you not ‘do’ anything about it?
Susan: I think people here are too polite, they don’t want to rock the boat. Still they complain about everything and are unwilling to step up. Not a good combo!
Mona: Of course I realize the grass is always greener – that’s missing the point. And I’m not sure what you mean by asking why I did not do anything about “it” – about what? As for the disruptive teenagers, we were about to say something but then the gardai came by – we thought they’d do something and they did not. Short of going outside and confronting the teens, which would have been disasterous, I’m not sure what else you think I should have done.
As for my partner’s building woes, I do not live there so again, not sure what you think I should be doing. He rang management, like I stated. Perhaps you need to re-read the post, it seems you’ve missed a few key details.
You wrote:
‘The kids in this scenario continued to harass every patron that passed them to enter the bar until finally the barman’s girlfriend went outside and gave them orders to get away or else she would ring some garda who would actually do something. I admired her for taking a stand.’
If it was bothering you this much, why did you not do something to make them stop? You said ‘finally’ the girlfriend gave them marching orders.
I do not need to re-read it. I grasped the essence of your frustration first time around (which I complemented you on for your honesty).
Perhaps you are the one that should be re-reading and maybe ease up on the backlash?
I am just one of your readers after all :0)
The detail you seem to be missing or perhaps don’t think has relevance is that there were about 8 of them gathered outside and that I already felt nervous with the number of them, so going outside on my own and confronting them wasn’t really something I felt comfortable doing. I’ve seen tweens hurl rocks at people and or worse so despite their age, I didn’t feel it would be a good idea to go and confront of group on my own.
I assumed the barman, who was essentially in charge of the place and of initimdating size and stature, would have done something. I was surprised that his girlfriend did – she’s much more brave than I would be (though had something happened to her, “brave” might be replaced with “foolish”).
Replying to a comment isn’t backlash, apologies if my tone came off as such.
Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth. I experience this type of thing on a day to day basis. My friends flew over to visit a couple weeks ago and we went to a Mumford and Sons concert….. the kids (underage) were drunk and yelling all over the street. Guards were called…. and did nothing! Shocker!
It seems to me that people are terrified of disciplining kids here, big or small! I cannot stand it and I feel so helpless! At least I know you are noticing the things that I do 🙂
Sophie: I don’t understand what type of power the gardai have here…it seems not much. I feel for them in some ways because they seem to get no respect, whereas in the US people have a healthy fear of cops. I was stunned to see how the teens just yelled at them and they did nothing about it. Who’s in charge around here, anyway?
The kids are in charge…. that’s for sure!
Clare,
I can tell you I don´t miss knackers and I don´t miss this attitude “sure nothing can be done about it”..in Madrid, 80% of apt dwellers participate in electing ppl to run the mgmt of their buildings (if in Ireland ppl let companies do it for them it´s their own fault 100%-schmucks!)…
Hope you and MM come over sometime soon! Great seafood here
Regards
MMs cousin 😉
With all due respect, Spain has a longer history of apartment living and as a result has worked out a way of making the management companies accountable for their actions with consequences if things are not done properly. In Ireland, apartment living where there are management companies is still pretty new and at the time of purchase, there was literally no other option available to people. I suppose it was a case of knowing no better. I do agree that the apartment dwellers should decide who their management company is but to call them schmucks is a little unfair. There was a ridiculous amount of pressure put on people to get on the property ladder and people were willing to take everything that comes with it. And I would like to point out that I do not own an apartment so I am not defending myself here !
I think the Guards are in a win less situation, they actually can do next to nothing. The only people who respect them are those who don’t need policing, you & I (& the like) we worrying about getting penalty points for doing 55kpn in town, etc. If the Guards had done anything, girls tell them to F&”K OFF, I am not sure what exactly they can do & are made look foolish in public. If the guards did take it further & say (if legally allowed) arrested the kids, eventually goes to court & solicitors explain kids were drunk from a bad home, etc. but not getting councilling & have apologiesed. Yes am sure they have all turned over a whole new leaf! Waste of tax payers money & guards time doing a prosecution. Guards unfortunately seem to have no power against the common everyday scumbag.
This is probably the Irish attitude you are talking about, “sure what can we do?”. What I would suggest would never be allowed (beyond PC for a civilised society like ourselves). I agree with your points.
P.S. Please don’t get me started on my feelings towards the guards!! In this case they should have at least made an effort to move them on.
Hi Clare,
I was on Smitten Kitchen today and noticed a link to your blog and figured I’d check it out. I’ve read through almost every post and have to say I’m hooked. As a Canadian who was just recently living in Ireland (up North in Belfast) your descriptive writing takes me back to that wonderful country. There are many days where I wish I never left.
Its the little things I miss most too like Sunday’s watching Come Dine With Me, a Rocky Bar with a cup of tea and the general happy attitude of the people there.
I know in this posting some of the fall backs about living in Ireland stick out a bit more. But I say, as someone who left and is wishing I didn’t that if you stick it out it’s totally worth it!
MM’s cousin: I would love to go to Spain for a visit! We can make empanadas together, lol!
Liam: I see what you’re saying…there’s way too much emotion behind punishments here in Ireland. While I don’t agree everyone should be treated the same, there are rules that need to be established and followed. Like harassing a police officer in the US is a violation – doesn’t matter what your background is or how bad you had it growing up. The penalty is the same no matter what. Wish it was that way here!
Anna: Thank you so much! I, too, look forward to Sunday’s “Come Dine with Me,” lol. The snarky commentary is the best!! I don’t have any plans to leave at the moment, just had a bad week. But overall I still love it! Are you planning to come back anytime soon?
No plans to come back any time soon. My partner ( I also fell in love with an Irishman over there) and I are going over to Melbourn Austalia for a couple years. I’m thinking of starting my own travel/food blog once over there although have to admit I have no idea where to begin.
Unfortunately the Gardaí are unable to do anything unless a law has been broken or a criminal act has actually taken place. And sadly a number of aggressive tweens harassing members of the public is not a criminal act. The Gardai literally cannot do a thing. If they had apprehended the kids they would have spent a number of hours processing them to find that they had no choice but to let them go and would find that they would just go back to what they were doing.
It is exasperating that there is a feeling of “well what is the point” and until that changes things will just remain the same. I do think that things are slowly starting to shift but it is just slowly.
Huh. I have lived in Dublin for the past 8 months and I haven’t noticed more obnoxious behavior from the youths than normal.
…well, maybe a little bit more than normal but that’s probably because I grew up in a small town on Cape Cod, so.
But yeah, I wonder if it might be the location where MM lives? I know that in Rathmines the majority of the problems come from us Trinity students more than anyone else. Also, I have never seen that type of behavior in a pub, ever. The worst general behavior I have seen is outside of someplace like Coppers on a Fri/Sat evening (morning) when everyone is completely drunk.
Maybe I’m just seeing what I want to see, but aside from being harassed by drug addicts while waiting for the bus at Eden Quay, I have never seen the behavior you’re talking about. And then the Garda came and broke them up.
Though it also might be related to the fact that I pretty much stick to the touristy/rich areas of the city because that’s where I study.