Mon 10 Jan 2011
Since You Asked…
Posted by Clare under dating in Ireland, Drogheda Ireland, Expats in Ireland, Soul searching
[21] Comments
There are some things so precious you want to keep them all to yourself, safely tucked away from prying eyes and inevitable opinions and questions. There’s safety in keeping something secret; it’s a preservation method, a way to keep something protected and allow space for growth without influence or distraction.
But this is a blog about my life here in Ireland, and it would be unfair to readers and downright untruthful to hold back on something as significant as this any longer. While I did slip in a little mention a couple of posts back, I have yet to elaborate. So here goes [*takes deep breath*]: I’m in love with an Irish man.
Before meeting him, I’ll admit I had almost given up on the idea of love. Keep in mind I’d been living in Los Angeles for many years prior to moving here, and dating in LA is about as enjoyable as pouring iodine on a paper cut. After dozens of first dates, ranging from OK to down-right terrible, I started to wonder how anyone actually connects with anyone. Though I saw couples all around me who obviously found each other somehow, it was starting to feel like the planets had to be aligned just so in order for two people to come together, find each other attractive, get along AND start an actual relationship. It’s kind of like staring at a word on a page too long; after a while, it starts looking foreign…and wrong. I’d examined the concept and ideology of dating so much that it was starting to morph into something I didn’t even recognize anymore.
And then, a mere 5 months after landing in Ireland, I met him. There was the great first date, one that started at the Bank Bar on College Green and ended with a hurried wave “goodbye” as I ran toward my train at Connolly Station. The absence of a kiss goodnight left me wondering if he was interested. A text before I even got home let me know he was. This was followed by many wonderful dinners out in Dublin (where he lives) and in Drogheda (where I live) and trips to galleries and walks around the city and many long conversations over many glasses of wine. There’ve been wanders around the second-hand section at Chapters bookstore, rambles on the beach in Bettystown and hikes up to Djouce (he is an avid mountain climber who took me to get hiking boots on our fourth date). And then there are times when we simply sit quietly and read the paper over cups of coffee. They say a test of a good relationship is when you can just sit with someone and say nothing and be OK. I know now what that means.
In him I’ve found a true partner; someone I can be myself around without apology or need for self-deprecation. While we have some major commonalities (we’re both journalists, for one), he also brings whole, new perspectives to the relationship. If you would have told me six months ago that I’d be climbing Croagh Patrick in the snow, I would’ve given you the subtle but you-so-crazy eye roll of disbelief. It’s not that I’d just follow my boyfriend up a mountain because I want to impress or please him. Being with someone who pushes himself in that way and who is as disciplined as he is inspires me. He inspires me to be better, to push harder and make more effort in every aspect of my life just by being who he is: a hard-working, patient man with a rock-solid character.
You’ll be hearing more about him in upcoming posts, but in an effort to respect his privacy (after all, it wasn’t his choice to write a tell-all blog!) I will refer to him as Mountaineering Man (MM) in future posts and keep his face hidden in photographs. But I wanted to share this much for now, as he’s been an important and big part of my life for the last few months and I have no doubt he’ll continue to be.
I guess this whole moving-to-Ireland craziness has worked out quite well!
Coconut & Cranberry Oat Bars
For me, there are few things more enjoyable than cooking for someone else. And now that I have someone to cook for, I’m doing a lot of it. MM really likes his food (thank GOD as I don’t think I could date a picky eater) so I’ve always got an eager and grateful taste-tester for all my recipes. Recently he mentioned a craving for coconut, so I whipped up this recipe for healthy but delicious Coconut & Cranberry Oat Bars. Enjoy!
180 grams whole rolled oats
125 grams wholemeal flour
200 grams brown sugar
80 grams unsweetened flaked coconut
170 grams dried cranberries
½ teaspoon baking powder
140 grams of melted unsalted butter, cooled slightly
2 eggs
4 fluid ounces real maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 170 C degrees. In a large bowl, combine the oats, flour, sugar, coconut, cranberries and baking powder and stir until well mixed. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the butter, eggs, maple syrup and vanilla. Pour mixture over the oat mixture and stir until combined. Press into a foil-lined baking pan (I used a rectangular pan about 13x9x9) and bake for 20 minutes. Cool completely in the pan and then cut into squares.
All you need is love! BAP BAP BAPABAP! 🙂
SWIT SWOO!!! So happy for you Clare. It is so lovely to have someone to sit in silence with and to do all of the other lovely things. x
Donal: So true! 🙂
Likemausedtobake: Thanks a million. Yes it is so lovely and I am enjoying every second of it.
Tales of love are the best tales of all…
And I know what you mean about having someone to cook for. Were it not for my boyfriend, I would never have learned as much about cooking as I have (not meant in an anti-feminist, but more in a caring/nuturing, way)
“They say a test of a good relationship is when you can just sit with someone and say nothing and be OK” – i like that one Clare 🙂 delighted for ya 🙂
yay!
at the rish of sounding mushy, i totally get the whole “inspiring to be better” thing.
Sharon: It’s just nice to cook for more than one. I always enjoy making food for others.
Earnan: Thanks!! 🙂
Josie: It’s a good thing all around!
Delighted for you. Great to hear everything is working out in Ireland. Am sure it was such a massive gamble when the thought first crossed your mind.
I can sit and say nothing to most people, am I special? 🙂 Good woman Clare, when are the two of ye coming to Stanley’s for a session? 🙂
Of course, we are thrilled for you Clare…and even though I don’t hear much from you now that it’s officially LOVE…I LOVE that for you!! Cannot wait to meet your Mountaineering Man! Take care. Imen xx
So thrilled for you Clare! I’ve noticed an extra tablespoon of happy in your posts these last few months so maybe love was one of the reasons.
that is wonderful!
Liam: Strangely I never saw it as a gamble, more an adventure. I think when you are so tired of one life you’re willing to try anything new, and that’s where I was at the time.
Oisin: Yes, you are special…in a special needs kind of way! Kidding! Yes we’ll have to stop into Collon for a drink soon, to toast your engagement!
Imen: Thanks 🙂 You will meet him in less than two weeks!
Nuts4fruit: Guess it’s hard to hide, lol!
Patty: Thanks so much. 🙂
YOU’RE ONE OF US, NOW ….
😉
Oh, Claire. This makes me so happy that I have tears in my eyes. Your MM sounds wonderful.
Claire,
Wow- wonderful! You have found one of the greatest gifts life has to offer…so glad you obviously know that and that you are doing everything you can to nurture and care for that gift…BTW, as I see it, you are also an excellent writer…you have depth, sincerity, clarity,and an ability to connect with your readers…you could easily branch out into writing beyond the food realm and I am confident you would be successful.All the best to you and your MM…cheers to the both of you..I wish you many, many years of health and happiness together!
Aww Claire, that was the sweetest post to read. I’m really happy for you both.
I much prefer cooking for Jon than just cooking for myself. Though it is still nice to whip up something especially tasty for myself when he’s not here 😉
Awwww! You have brightened my day! That is so wonderful. I’m back on the dating scene myself and its great to see some success! I have to say, I dont think Im cut out for dating. Is it normal to feel physically sick for a few hours before the date??? I’m delighted you’ve met a great guy. Im hoping my date on Saturday goes as well as your Bank one!!!! Keep us updated, its great to see happiness 🙂 p.s. Did I mention he’s a lucky man!
Alan: Ha ha, very funny!
Susan: Thanks so much for your kind words. 🙂 I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you when I was home for Christmas but it was just crazy busy! Next time for sure, hope all is well with you!
Eileen: So touched by your compliments, thank you SO much.
Joanna: Yes it definitely is more fun cooking for someone else! Been cooking a lot more lately.
Sarah: Yes, it’s normal to be that nervous. I was pretty nervous on our first date, and I even took a Blackberry photo of myself and sent to two friends before going so they could suss out my outfit, lol. Let me know how your date goes and good luck!
I think a lot of us American women are here because of Irish men. I met mine in Japan of all places! Be forewarned though, they don’t want to move away from Ireland, so you might be stuck here!
PS: I’m glad I found your blog!
I just found your blog and wanted to be added to the list of American women who adore Irish men. I recently met two Irish men while vacationing in Florida. I spent the evening mesmerized by their charm and sexy accents. It’s a night I won’t soon forget. I look forward to following your blog.